I support professionals who work part-time or full-time and are full-time parents. Some professional women share that they struggle to meet expectations at work and at home. For example, some women share feeling passionate about the work they do but also driven to be available for their child or children. The reality for some of these women is that they are often not able to do both for one reason or another which leaves them feeling like they are not good enough, they are letting co-workers down, or that they are letting their child down. As a result, some of these women have their negative inner dialogue surface, some feel stressed and others are disappointed in themselves.
Support for professionals who are also full-time parents
Short term suggestions
1/ To acknowledge and focus on all the tasks you are completing rather than focusing on all the things that you were not able to complete. Sometimes it is easy to think about all of the tasks remaining on your to-do list which you may not have had the opportunity to get to. I invite you to think about all of the tasks that you were able to complete and take a moment to sit with this. There may always be more that we can do in a day but it is important to allow ourselves to think about all that we did achieve in a day.
2/ To acknowledge and focus on the fact that being a professional and a full-time parent may be challenging and at times hard. Sometimes it is easy to compare our life with a friend or a co-worker who may also have a child and who may not be struggling as much as you. However, comparing our lives with someone else who may be in a similar situation to us is not helpful for several reasons. Firstly, we may not know everything that is going on in someone else’s life so whilst on the surface it may appear that parenting their child is easier, this may not be the case in reality. Secondly, someone else may have other factors such as support from parents or family members which may also impact their parenting.
3/ To ask for help and let others know how you feel as you navigate your professional life and parenting. Sometimes women feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help as they may have been raised to think that they should be able to handle everything thus, they may feel less inclined to ask for help. They may also not feel comfortable talking about how difficult they find it to manage both their personal and professional life as they may deem it as a sign of weakness. It is important to note that asking for help is not a sign of weakness it is the opposite. It takes courage to ask for help and there is no shame in needing some help. It is also important to remember that you are not alone and that there is support available.
1/ To be curious and kind to yourself when/if you feel triggered. Sometimes unresolved issues from your childhood may surface as you parent your child. By identifying our triggers and understanding what goes on for us internally, we can cope and feel more in control as a professional and a parent.
2/ As part of your self-care, you may consider counselling which would enable you to focus on your internal struggles and how they manifest either amongst professionals or as a parent.
3/ To acknowledge your inner critic and to understand where some of your negative core beliefs stem from. We can rewire our minds so that our inner critic is not so loud, harsh, or negative. We can change thoughts such as you are failing as a parent to you are doing the best you can as a parent.