This blog post will focus on the:

• What does it mean to step outside your comfort zone?
• Understanding your comfort zone 
• Identifying What’s Holding You Back
• 8 practical ways to help you step outside of your comfort zone
• The Benefits of Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

What Does It Mean to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone?

Stepping out of your comfort zone means taking action that feels unfamiliar, uncertain, or different from your habits. For some people, it can be a scary and uncomfortable experience. 

In counselling, I support individuals who want to step out of their comfort zone and try something different. I discuss with them what gets in the way and how we can work together to move in the direction they want to go. For some clients, fears are present, while for others, negative core beliefs are prevalent. I invite clients to notice their feelings and behaviours when they think about stepping outside of their comfort zone. This is part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). 

For some people, stepping outside of their comfort zone looks like:

• Applying for a new job.
• Moving to a new city.
• Trying something new.
• Having a difficult conversation.
• Setting boundaries in relationships.
• Showing vulnerability to yourself or others.

Life transition counselling can help support individuals with these and other transitions. Some clients share a moment of freezing, while others share fleeting moments. We unpack these reactions and learn more about how your nervous system responds. Some clients feel overwhelmed at the thought of setting a boundary with a family member, and thus, they freeze, for instance. I support clients with emotional regulation and often share strategies from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT).

Understanding Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone is the space where you feel most comfortable. For many people, this space consists of minimal stress and anxiety. For some people, their comfort zone is a safe space, and anything outside feels uncomfortable and scary. If you decide to stay in your comfort zone, this may mean that you are not trying something new, feeling challenged, or taking a risk. Staying in your comfort zone may result in you feeling bored and may hinder your ability to grow. Moving beyond your comfort zone will help you achieve your goals and your full potential. 

Stretch zone 

You can step outside of your comfort zone and enter the stretch zone by trying something new. You may feel a little nervous or uncomfortable, but not overwhelmed or anxious. In counselling, I work with clients to help them identify what they can try to step outside of their comfort zone and into their stretch zone. Some examples include: 

• Trying something new 
• Sharing your thoughts with a coworker 
• Setting a boundary with a friend or coworker
• Saying yes to something you’ve wanted to try but haven’t yet
• Saying no to something you don’t enjoy but go along with

Panic zone 

The panic zone is where individuals feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. The nervous system is activated, and an individual may respond by fighting, fleeing, or freezing. You may push yourself too far outside your comfort zone, but if you’re not prepared or supported, you may find yourself in the panic zone. If you spend too much time in the panic zone, it will get bigger, but you may feel less confident. In the panic zone, individuals are less likely to achieve the changes they are working towards, which results in them feeling frustrated and disheartened. 

Identifying What’s Holding You Back

I support clients in identifying what prevents them from stepping outside of their comfort zone. For example 

Fear of judgment 

Some individuals worry that if they try to set a boundary, others will judge them for doing so.  For example, some clients attempt to establish boundaries with their parents; however, they worry about how their parents may react. Clients often share that they do not want to hurt their parents’ feelings, and so they don’t speak up. As a result, they continue engaging despite feeling frustrated or annoyed. 

In counselling, we unpack this fear and how prioritising other people’s feelings impacts you. We work together, focusing on your needs and feelings. I work with clients to identify their thinking patterns and where they feel stuck. I focus on cognitive distortions such as black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, and overgeneralization, which are part of CBT.

Fear of criticism 

Some individuals are fearful of criticism when they think about working on a challenging task. As a result, they may worry that they will have to work harder and spend more time on the task. They may worry about taking too long and being criticised for taking too long. Others share feelings of embarrassment when a task is not completed to a standard they would like. They worry that others will see them as incompetent. 

In counselling, we unpack your fears, feelings, and worries. We work together, focusing on your negative core beliefs and their origins. I encourage clients to notice the sensation, any images that surface, their behaviour, emotions, and what meaning they create when they think about their fear, for example. This is part of Somatic Therapy.

Making a mistake

Some individuals are fearful of making a mistake when they think about trying something new. For example, they want to try out a new sport, but they worry that they may make a mistake and let others down. Others worry that they may not be very good at learning a skill, and so they would rather avoid trying. Some struggle with negative self-talk, which is harsh and unsupportive. 

In counselling, we unpack this fear and how you felt when you made a mistake. We process past experiences, and some of our work may involve healing your inner child. We also work together to shift your self-talk so that it is kinder, more compassionate, and patient. I encourage my clients to imagine talking to their best friend or partner and to give themselves the love and understanding they would offer to someone they care about. 

Over-thinking 

Some clients share that they struggle with overthinking when they need to have a difficult conversation with a coworker or a friend.  For example, they want to share how they feel and what they need from the relationship, but they feel anxious about doing so. Some clients worry that sharing their feelings will result in conflict and lead to the loss of this relationship. As a result, they identify as being a people pleaser. 

In counselling, we unpack thinking patterns and fears that surface. For clients who overthink and worry about things going wrong, I encourage them to gently challenge their negative beliefs and also look for evidence, which is part of CBT. For example, I spend time exploring what happened when my client’s friend or coworker shared their feelings or needs. In most cases, clients share that the relationship did not end. 

Feeling anxious, nervous, or worried. 

Some individuals share feelings of anxiety when contemplating leaving their current job to start a new one. They worry that they may be making the “wrong” decision. They spend time speaking with others and conducting research, but they still feel stuck. Some share worries about the worst-case scenario and experience negative what-if thoughts. As a result, some individuals spiral, and they feel frustrated. 

In counselling, we unpack these feelings and what-if thoughts. I encourage clients to think of positive what-if thoughts and to spend time considering all the things that could go right, rather than solely focusing on negative what-if thoughts. I also encourage clients to visualise leaving their current job and starting a new one. I invite them to focus on what sensations, emotions, thoughts, and images come up. This is part of Somatic Therapy.

Self-doubt

Some clients express feelings of doubt when considering a move to a new city. They worry about missing out on social gatherings with friends and family. They also worry about not making new friends and feeling lonely. They don’t want to make the “wrong” decision or regret their decision. As a result, some individuals avoid thinking about it, and others feel frustrated and stuck.  

In counselling, we unpack this self-doubt and worries. We focus on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences rather than avoiding them. We work together, and I support clients in separating themselves from their distressing thoughts so they don’t feel stuck. We also work towards clients feeling more connected and aligned with their goals and values. This is part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

8 practical ways to help you step outside of your comfort zone

1. Set goals – I support clients in identifying their goals. It’s helpful to write down both long-term and short-term goals. 
2. Ask for help – some individuals have goals that require the help of others. For example, they may need to speak to their lecturer. 
3. Stretch zone – I encourage clients to gently move into the stretch zone. This could include signing up for a new hobby. 
4. Identify potential roadblocks – I spend time unpacking potential roadblocks or risks with clients, as well as the benefits they offer. For example, delivering a presentation may feel scary; however, it could lead to increased opportunities at work.  
5. Acceptance – Sometimes, individuals try something new, but it doesn’t go as well as expected. They feel like a failure and get disheartened, but this doesn’t mean that they should give up. I encourage clients to accept that they may make mistakes or feel like a failure, but to continue, as this is part of growth.  
6. Support – surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage your growth can help. For example, friends who support and encourage you to apply for a new job. 
7. Compassion – I gently remind clients to be compassionate and kind to themselves as they try something new. They may struggle, but that doesn’t mean that they can not do it. 
8. Acknowledge and celebrate the wins – I encourage clients to celebrate each time they step outside of their comfort zone. For example, when they say no to something that they have said yes to in the past. 

The Benefits of Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

I support clients with stepping outside of their comfort zone. There are several benefits to stepping outside of your comfort zone, including:

• More confidence: When you do something challenging and find the consequences manageable, your brain starts believing that you can handle it, which builds self-confidence. The more confident you feel, the better you feel about yourself. 
• More self-awareness: Discomfort often reveals your fears and beliefs, providing you with the opportunity to address and work through them. You learn that you can make decisions despite your fears or anxieties. You do not have to eliminate these feelings.
• Better resilience: When you go beyond your limits, you become more flexible and more grounded under pressure. As you move through your fears and discomfort, you may not enjoy the process, but you will grow and enter the stretch zone. 
• More opportunities: As you go out of your comfort zone, you open new doors for yourself, whether professionally or relationally. You will benefit from the connections you make, and you will grow both personally and professionally. 

If you would like to learn more about how counselling can help you, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. To determine if I’m a good fit, please book a free 15-minute consultation.