Individual counselling in Burnaby

Domestic Violence Counselling in Burnaby

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Domestic Violence Counselling in Burnaby, BC

Starting domestic violence counselling is similar to driving. You may feel uncomfortable in the driver’s seat, worried you will be judged or criticised. Some days, you may not trust yourself, and on other days, you may not feel capable. However, you are capable and equipped to get behind the wheel.  I sit next to you in the passenger seat, ensuring you are safe, heard, validated, and supported as you drive. With your permission, we will unpack and process the domestic violence you experienced. You can pull over, slow down, or change lanes at any time. Driving home after your counselling session, you feel seen, heard, validated, and supported. I empower you to make decisions and regain control of your life in a safe and supportive space.

Domestic Violence Counselling. Woman in room.
Domestic Violence Counselling. Woman in room.

Hi, my name is Leena Mehta, and I’m glad you’re here. I hope you find what you’re looking for. I am a registered clinical counsellor in Burnaby (#19428), committed to supporting individuals who have experienced domestic violence or abuse. I first started supporting survivors of domestic violence when I completed my social work practicum in England in 2008. Since then, I’ve supported survivors from different walks of life: professional women, married with kids, cohabiting partners with no kids, women of colour, immigrants and women from various religious backgrounds. The one thing these women had in common was that their self-confidence and sense of self were chipped away. Let’s build your self-confidence and strengthen your identity. You don’t have to do it alone. Let me help. 

I am a Burnaby therapist who supports you in healing from the domestic violence you experienced. This happens in a safe, non-judgmental, and confidential space, both in person and online. You may struggle with self-esteem, going to work, leaving your house, or spending time with loved ones. I work with you to build your self-esteem and self-worth and to strengthen your relationship with yourself. 

Tired of feeling alone? What if I told you that you can access support and process your experience in a safe, compassionate space? Let’s work together and rebuild your self-esteem.

What is Domestic violence?

Domestic violence includes physical, emotional, financial, sexual, and psychological forms of violence between two individuals who are in an intimate partner relationship. This can include marriage, common-law partners, and partners who are dating. A perpetrator can continue to try to exert power and control after a relationship is over by harassing or stalking their partner.

Understanding Domestic Violence

At Ease Counselling in Burnaby, I work with you to help you achieve your goals and improve your mental health. Starting counselling takes courage and strength. Being a survivor of domestic violence is a part of your story, but it’s not the whole story.

When supporting clients, I often refer to the power and control wheel, as it illustrates how perpetrators exert their power and control. I also refer to the equality wheel, as this shows what one can expect from a healthy relationship. Statistically, women experience domestic violence more than men. Women from a diverse range of backgrounds find themselves in an abusive relationship.

Loved ones or friends may not be aware that you experienced domestic violence. You may not have disclosed it to your boss, and you may not wish to report it to the RCMP, but it may still impact many aspects of your life.

Domestic violence assault is a criminal offence, and if you decide to report it to the RCMP, the perpetrator may be charged. Additionally, if you decide to report it to the RCMP, you may be eligible for funding through the Crime Victims Assistance Program (CVAP). I offer CVAP counselling for survivors of domestic violence.

At Ease Counselling in Burnaby provides a safe space to share and heal from the domestic violence you experienced and to explore how it impacts your life. We make space for your feelings and get curious about what these feelings need to heal. As your counsellor, I validate and reassure you. I don’t judge you or tell you what to do. As your counsellor, I empower you, and together we focus on your strengths.

How does the domestic violence you experienced impact your life?

Let’s create a safe space for you in counselling. As your counsellor in Burnaby, I’m curious to learn about what you need to feel safe, where in your body you feel this and what thoughts come up. You may be grieving a version of you that existed before you met your abusive partner, or you may feel shame or guilt for how they treated you. We work together to strengthen your sense of self and your relationship with yourself.

I work with survivors who have left their abusive partner, but they share how it impacted them, and others share how it continues to impact them. Some examples include:

You struggle to trust others or open up to friends, as you fear being criticized or judged.

You internalized some of the verbal abuse you experienced and find yourself criticizing yourself when you make a mistake or forget to complete a task.

You feel anxious around new people and worry about interacting with them as you fear they will get angry and lose their temper with you.

You feel ashamed and judge yourself for not leaving your abusive partner sooner.

You feel on edge and struggle to relax despite being safe and away from your abusive partner.

How can Burnaby domestic violence counselling help?

As your Burnaby BIPOC counsellor, I ensure you feel seen, heard, validated, and accepted. Starting your healing journey takes courage, and I am here to support you every step of the way. I know it’s not easy to reach out and start counselling, but I’m here to help when you’re ready.

Burnaby domestic violence counselling provides a nonjudgmental, kind, and compassionate space to help you heal from the domestic violence you experienced. Together, we focus on your needs, which may include the following:

Building a strong sense of self and a healthy relationship with yourself. Including self-acceptance, self-love, self-compassion, and forgiveness.

Understanding that you are not to blame for your perpetrator’s behaviour and that you are not responsible for what they did.

Identifying and prioritizing your needs and wants. You no longer have to walk on eggshells and dismiss your needs.

Treating yourself with kindness and patience rather than judgment or criticism.

Burnaby domestic violence counselling modalities that can help

I need your help in determining which counselling modality is a good fit for you. It’s okay if you don’t know. I use a variety of different counselling modalities to support survivors of domestic violence. Every client is different, and as a counsellor, I support each client with where they are in their healing journey.  Counselling modalities that can help include:

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

CBT can help individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns. It can also help individuals challenge thinking traps.

Dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT)

DBT can help individuals with emotional regulation and distress tolerance by learning skills and strategies to help them cope.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR can help individuals process traumatic and distressing experiences through bilateral stimulation.

Resources

Benefits of Domestic Violence Counselling in Burnaby

Connection

Burnaby domestic violence counselling focuses on strengthening your connection with yourself. Sometimes survivors of domestic violence feel like they are not able to recognise themselves after they leave the perpetrator. Others say they lost themselves in the relationship and no longer know who they are. In counselling, we work together to strengthen your sense of self, identity, and connection. Some individuals feel disconnected from family members or friends as a result of the domestic violence they experienced. We focus on strengthening existing connections and establishing new ones. Some survivors feel depressed, isolated, and lonely. When you feel depressed, you may also struggle with negative self-talk, low mood, and energy. Other individuals feel anxious and experience panic attacks. In counselling, we process your experiences, which helps you feel less anxious and depressed. As a Burnaby therapist, I also share strategies to help you cope when your anxiety or depression surfaces.

Explore

Burnaby domestic violence counselling explores how the domestic violence you experienced impacts your life. We explore how it impacts your thoughts, feelings, view of self, and relationships with others. We also identify triggers and how you react or respond when triggered. Individuals who have experienced domestic violence sometimes blame themselves and have negative self-talk. As a counsellor in Burnaby, I support you in gently challenging negative thoughts and cultivating a kinder, more compassionate inner dialogue. Some survivors of domestic violence experience grief and loss as they have lost their jobs, apartment, friends, or neighbours. We process this loss and work together to rebuild confidence and self-worth. I use tools like power and control, which some individuals find helpful, as they focus on abusive behaviours they experienced.  We also unpack red flags that surfaced and identify green flags in healthy relationships.

Heal

Burnaby Domestic violence counselling helps you heal from the violence or abuse you experienced. You may struggle with feelings of shame, embarrassment, blame, and confusion.  You may find it challenging to go to work, socialise with friends or family, and engage in once-enjoyable activities. You may have lost your support network due to the perpetrator, and your self-confidence may also be lower as a result. As a Burnaby therapist, we work together to unpack past experiences and heal them so they no longer trigger you. We can not change what happened, but we can change how you feel about it. We build your self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. Some of our work together may involve you forgiving yourself and strengthening your view of self. Some clients struggle with sleep, recurring nightmares, panic attacks, and depression. In counselling, we focus on this, your coping mechanisms, and strategies to help you regain control.

FAQ

What are some signs and red flags to be aware of?

Some examples of red flags include that your partner is controlling; they dictate what you wear, with whom you talk, whether you can work, how much money you can spend, and where you can go. Your partner is physically, emotionally, financially, sexually, or verbally abusive. As your counsellor in Burnaby, I refer to the power and control wheel, as this includes many different forms of abuse. Your partner doesn’t trust you and is jealous when you spend time with friends and family. You feel like you're walking on eggshells, and you worry how your partner may react. Finally, your partner gaslights you, and you feel unsafe when you are with them. What if we worked together and focused on self-love and self-worth?

Why doesn’t she just leave?

This was a question I’ve heard often over the years. I rarely hear someone question why the perpetrator is abusive. Some survivors worry that the perpetrator will harm them further, their children, pets, or family members. Some are worried that the perpetrator will hurt themselves, as sometimes perpetrators threaten to end their lives. I’ve also supported survivors who are worried about cultural and religious norms and values. I’ve heard women share that they will be disowned by their in-laws, but also by their parents. Housing and finances are also concerns for survivors who want to leave. As a Burnaby therapist, I’ve worked with women who were worried they would be deported back to their home country, and the shame they would feel. What if I told you that a woman’s risk of homicide increases at the point of separation?

Why are some people abusive?

Perpetrators of domestic violence justify their behaviour and often blame their partner for their actions; however, survivors are not to blame. As a Burnaby BIPOC therapist, I believe no reason could explain why someone abuses their partner. Some people argue that alcohol or stress may result in someone being abusive; however, this is not true. Many people drink alcohol, but they do not abuse their partners. What if I told you that you are not to blame for the abuse you experienced?

Can men be survivors of domestic violence?

Yes, men and women both experience domestic violence. Statistically, women experience domestic violence more than men. That said, similar to women, some men do not contact the RCMP or any other support services, which could impact the statistics. At Ease Counselling supports both men and women who have experienced domestic violence. What if I told you that there is no shame in reaching out for support?

Do 2SLGBTQ+ individuals experience domestic violence?

Yes, folks who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender report intimate partner violence. At Ease Counselling in Burnaby supports all folks, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, who have experienced domestic violence.

Why Choose At Ease Counselling?

Client-driven approach

As a Burnaby BIPOC counsellor, sessions focus on meeting you where you are and working at your pace, alongside you, with compassion, kindness, and curiosity, both in-person and online.

Evidence-based modalities

As a Burnaby therapist, I incorporate evidence-based modalities in every session. I am trained in various evidence-based modalities, including Acceptance Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. Each of these modalities equips me to support your unique needs, and we work together to achieve your counselling goals.

Anti-oppressive practice

As a Burnaby therapist, I understand the impact of inequality and oppression, providing a safe, non-judgmental, and inclusive space in-person and online. People from all ethnic backgrounds, genders, and sexual orientations, including 2SLGBTQ+, are welcome. As a South Asian Burnaby therapist, I create a culturally sensitive space, and I am curious to learn more about your culture, norms, and values.