The Power of Pause and Self-Care for True Healing

Depression counselling in Burnaby

What is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma can be defined as the trauma that is passed down from one generation to the next. An individual who has experienced trauma may unintentionally pass down the emotional, psychological, or behavioural effects to family members or people in their community. For example, someone’s thoughts, behaviour, view of self, self-worth, and identity may be impacted as a result of the trauma that they experienced.  This, in turn, affects their parenting and interactions with their partner and children. Also, if they did not learn how to regulate their emotions, they may be unable to model this for their children.

Causes of Intergenerational Trauma

Several factors, including the following, may cause intergenerational trauma: 

  • War – Individuals who survived a war, fled their country, and lost loved ones. 
  • Colonization – Individuals who lost their identity, were abused, and were unable to continue cultural practices.  
  • Slavery – Individuals whose ancestors were bought and treated as slaves. 
  • Racial discrimination – Individuals who experienced racial discrimination and systematic oppression. 
  • Natural disasters – Individuals who survived a tsunami, hurricane, or earthquake. 
  • Genocide – Individuals who survived a genocide and lost loved ones. 
  • Childhood abuse or neglect – Individuals who were raised in abusive or neglectful environments, thus learning to rely on themselves and developing healthy or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

 

The Effects of Intergenerational Trauma

Intergenerational trauma can impact individuals in a variety of ways, including the following:

  • Physical health

Individuals who have experienced trauma may experience physical health conditions like heart disease or diabetes. The body’s response to extensive amounts of stress manifests in physical health conditions for some people. This may also impact their ability to work, engage in social activities, commit to hobbies, and maintain healthy relationships. Some individuals express struggling with a negative inner dialogue, and others judge themselves for not being able to participate in daily activities like other people. In counselling, we unpack how your trauma manifests and impacts your physical health. We focus on your nervous system and fight or flight response and work together to help regulate your nervous system.

  • Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with unhealthy coping mechanisms. They may use substances as a means to cope; for instance, however, they may not feel productive or good about themselves. Some people use substances as a means to numb or minimize their feelings, but feelings do not disappear. Sometimes, they manifest when we least expect them, and some people feel overwhelmed or stuck. In counselling, we explore your current coping mechanisms, and I suggest alternatives. We also focus on identifying, communicating, and processing your feelings so you feel less overwhelmed or stuck. 

  • Epigenetics

According to research, trauma can result in epigenetic changes, which means for some people, the impact of the trauma is woven into their genes, and this carries over to the next generation. This can impact an individual’s ability to respond to stress, their brain development, and how their immune system functions. In counselling, I gain a better understanding of my client’s upbringing, background, and family dynamics. I remain curious to learn more about the trauma their family members experienced and how they managed. I work with clients and support them process their trauma, and I share tools to help them regulate their emotions. 

How Intergenerational Trauma Affects Mental Health

Intergenerational trauma can impact an individual’s mental and emotional well-being in a variety of ways, including the following:

  • Anxiety

Individuals who have experienced trauma may experience anxiety, which is then passed down to their children or grandchildren. For example, someone who fled their country, community, and home may experience anxiety in a new city. Their anxiety may be rooted in the unknown and uncertainty. They may fear losing their home or something bad happening even though they are safe. This anxiety may impact how they parent their children and the choices they make. They may hesitate to trust childcare workers’ or teachers’ ability to care for their children. Over time, the child receives the message that the world is unsafe and that they need to be cautious. 

In counselling, I support individuals who feel anxious and were raised by an anxious parent by learning more about their upbringing. I remain curious and explore how their parent managed their anxiety; for example, did they seek support, or were they able to regulate their emotions? I am also interested in learning if they grew up communicating their feelings if it was safe, and how their parents responded or reacted when they shared their feelings. Once I understand more about where the client’s anxiety stems and how it manifests, we work together to process experiences that resulted in them feeling anxious. 

  • Depression

Individuals who have experienced trauma may experience depression, which impacts their ability to connect and communicate with family members, their children, and grandchildren. For example, Indigenous people who experienced trauma due to the residential schools. Their depression may be rooted in the colonization, discrimination, trauma, and oppression that they experienced. They may feel disconnected from their culture, community, and themselves. Their view of self and relationship with themselves may impact how they parent their children. They may struggle to connect with children and other family members. As a result, their children may worry that they are not good enough or loved.

In counselling, I support individuals who feel depressed and were raised by a depressed parent by being curious about their culture, family dynamics, and upbringing. I am interested to learn about their parent’s upbringing, struggles, and support. For some individuals, their parent or parents may have been raised by parents who also experienced trauma, and they had little support. They may have struggled to cope and perhaps relied on unhealthy coping mechanisms, which they then passed on to their child or children. I support individuals by sharing healthy coping mechanisms and processing experiences that result in them feeling depressed.  

  • Regulating emotions

Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with communicating their feelings and regulating their emotions, which impacts their relationships and interactions with family members, their children, and grandchildren. For example, individuals who were abused by family members. In some instances, survivors of childhood abuse are blamed and held responsible for the abuse by the perpetrator. For others, the perpetrator minimizes and normalizes the abuse, so survivors may not be aware that they are being abused. Some survivors learn not to communicate their feelings as it does not feel safe. Others do not learn to regulate their emotions, which may impact them as adults, parents, and grandparents.  

In counselling, I support individuals who were raised by a parent who struggled to communicate and regulate their feelings. I explore family dynamics, view of self, and view of others for my client and their parent. I am interested to learn about their parent’s support network, identity, values, and culture.  For some individuals, their parent or parents may have immigrated and raised their children in a Western culture where they tried to balance their cultural norms alongside mainstream society.  Perhaps communicating their feelings is not part of their culture, and thus, they raised their children with this in mind.  I support clients in communicating and regulating their emotions.

  • Low self-esteem

Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle with low self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, which impacts their relationships with others, including friends, co-workers, and family members. For example, a survivor of childhood abuse may feel guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed as a result of the abuse they experienced. They might internalize and hold themselves responsible if they did not receive support, empathy, validation, and reassurance that they were not to blame for what happened.  They may not feel good enough as a parent or worthy of love, impacting their parenting and relationship with their child.  

In counselling, I support individuals who were raised by a parent who survived childhood abuse. I unpack how their upbringing, family dynamics, and interactions with their parent impacted them. I remain curious to learn more about their attachment style, needs, and fears. I also explore negative beliefs and thoughts and where they stem from. For example, a client who was raised by a parent who was distant and critical of them may struggle with not feeling good enough. We explore how these negative beliefs impact their view of self, self-esteem, and relationships with others. I support clients in challenging these negative beliefs and thoughts.  

  • Relationships and attachments

Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle to form and maintain relationships and healthy attachments, which impacts interactions with family members and friends. For example, a survivor of childhood abuse may have an avoidant or insecure attachment style with family members. This may impact their romantic relationships, and their coping mechanism may be to withdraw, avoid, or shut down. They may also find themselves in unhealthy relationships, which they struggle to end. Their attachment style, fears, and needs may impact their relationship with their children and grandchildren. Their child may grow up with a distant parent, so the child learns not to rely on their parent for support. 

In counselling, I support individuals who were raised by a parent who survived childhood abuse and trauma. I unpack how they were raised, who was their primary caregiver, and who they went to when they needed support and comfort. I remain curious as I learn more about their attachment style, needs, and fears. A client who was raised by a parent who was distant or unavailable emotionally may learn not to communicate their needs or ask for help. Instead, they may learn to rely on themselves and not to trust others. We explore and process these negative thoughts and beliefs so clients can shift their thinking and learn to trust others.   

Therapeutic Approaches to Healing

I support clients who have experienced trauma and intergenerational trauma by incorporating trauma-informed counselling. As a BIPOC registered clinical counsellor, I understand how cultural norms and values may impact your life, upbringing, and relationship with family members. I work from a client-driven approach, which means I work with you at your pace with no judgments or expectations. I am curious to learn about your experience in a safe and compassionate space. The idea is not to re-traumatize you but to build on your strengths and resilience and empower you to make decisions. 

Counselling modalities which may help you process your trauma and intergenerational trauma include:

This modality helps individuals process their trauma by focusing on distressing or negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences rather than avoiding them. It is an evidence-based, well-researched modality that supports individuals in accepting their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours rather than changing or avoiding them. ACT helps individuals develop psychological flexibility and supports them with mindfulness and grounding in the present moment. It also helps individuals separate themselves from distressing thoughts, build stronger connections to their values and goals, and take steps and actions that align best with these values.

This modality helps individuals process their trauma by exploring how their trauma has impacted their behaviours, thoughts, and feelings. I also focus on past and current coping mechanisms, communication, identity, values, and family dynamics. This enables me to understand the multiple different levels of trauma and its impact on individuals.  CBT focuses on cognitive distortions such as black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, and overgeneralization. Individuals can learn about their cognitive distortions, unpack where they stem from, and how they impact their behaviour and feelings. CBT encourages individuals to identify and challenge core negative beliefs that may stem from their intergenerational trauma.  

This modality helps individuals process their trauma by focusing on mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. It is an evidence-based, well-researched modality that effectively supports individuals in managing their emotions, building healthy relationships, and learning healthy coping mechanisms. DBT is skills-based, so individuals can implement different skills and determine which ones work best. Individuals who have experienced intergenerational trauma may struggle to cope with their emotions and, at times, feel like they have no control over them.  DBT provides tools to help individuals regulate and manage their emotions healthily and effectively.

Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR)

This modality helps individuals process their trauma, which prevents the likelihood of it being passed down. EMDR is an evidence-based modality, extensively researched and effective in supporting individuals to heal from distressing experiences. EMDR differs from traditional talk therapy because it incorporates bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, to help individuals. This activates both parts of the brain and enables clients to process and feel desensitized and less distressed by traumatic experiences.  Clients process experiences in and outside the counselling session. As your counsellor, I do some grounding and stabilization at the beginning and end of each session. 

Reclaiming Identity and Cultural Strength

When supporting clients who have experienced trauma and intergenerational trauma, some of the work together focuses on their identity and sense of self. It also includes identifying and connecting with cultural norms and values that are important to the client.  

  • Reconnecting with cultural traditions and values

For some clients, reconnecting with their cultural roots and traditions may help them shift negative thoughts and beliefs and help them heal.  Cultures and communities that were suppressed and colonized, like Indigenous people, may find that their healing is rooted in learning their language and rituals. In counselling, we explore how reclaiming cultural traditions and coming together strengthens a client’s identity and connections with others.

  • Pride and cultural awareness

Opportunities to celebrate cultural traditions and values may be part of the healing process for clients who cannot share and celebrate their culture. In counselling, we unpack the need to be seen and heard as a minority, a person of colour, or an immigrant living in a Western society. We also process feelings of shame and fear, which may stem from discrimination and systematic oppression.

  • Building support and community

Some clients may feel alone in their journey and have little support. In counselling, we explore building a support network and strengthening connections with others. For some clients, this may involve strengthening their ties with individuals from their cultural backgrounds and community. For others, this may encompass building connections with individuals with similar values.  

Why Choose At Ease Counseling for support with Intergenerational trauma?

  • Client-driven approach

At Ease Counselling sessions focus on meeting you where you are and working at your pace alongside you with compassion, kindness, and curiosity in Burnaby and online. 

  • Evidence-based modalities

At Ease Counselling services, I incorporate evidence-based modalities in every session. I am trained in various evidence-based modalities, including Acceptance Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Each of these modalities equips me to support your unique needs, and we work together to achieve your counselling goals.

  • Anti-oppressive practice

At Ease Counselling understands the impact of inequality and oppression when supporting you in a safe, non-judgmental, inclusive space in Burnaby and online. People from all ethnic backgrounds, genders, and sexual orientations, including 2SLGBTQI+, are welcome.